The Letter

one of two short stories i enetered in the recent newcastle short story award

The Letter
sat
unopened
had done
would do
a living entity
in the room with me
eating away at me
his imprint on the envelope
i could see him touching it
feel him mulling it
sealing it
breathing it
and thinking like this
distracted me from emotions
swelling
in
my
constricted
throat
at present quelled
but ever on the precipice
of
rapid
descent
into
wild
distraught
fury
so they too
sat
unopened
had done
would do
the day I lost him
i didn’t touch him
so i am denied the luxury
of soothing my sorry soul
in the memory
of
such
simple
intimate
gestures
our last words
so tragically prosaic
he, rooting around
for a key
would not look at me
next I saw him
well, a shell
really
i could not process the leap
from key to this
from ramble to abyss
and I thought:
if two build a life together
make a home together
though we may hurt each other
as is our nature
we have agreed
to not desert each other
the undertaking
is forever
so if we wander different paths
roam separate rooms of this old house
we do so together
with, each other
to abandon me like this
to leave me
with paperwork
and legalities
a fucking body to inter
is a betrayal
of such great magnitude
that this letter
this letter
must contain within it
one
million
words
the secrets of this earth
the workings of the universe
unopened
it has the potential
still
to be what it will
but once opened
there is nothing else
just myself
an infinite emptiness
and the question
of my part in all of this
and if it simply reads
i love you
my heart will surely crumble
:what charlie wrote: